#seriously that was the SEXIEST shit holy shit. he did it so confidently

[cloudprincesslady]

oh my god brennan snapping that wand without even thinking about it.......... that was the hottest shit I've ever fucking seen

[ofstarsandvibranium]

My Heart in Your Hands

Fandom: Marvel (Cop AU - Sweet As Cinnamon Sugar Universe)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Just because you and Bucky are now together doesn’t mean that he still doesn’t have insecurities. 

warning: self-deprecation, implications of psychological abuse, low self-esteem

A/N: For @holy-captain ‘s 500 Follower Writing Challenge. Congrats you amazing being, you! My prompt was dialogue 5:  “You could have anyone that you want.” “Okay, and I choose you.”

After you met Bucky’s precinct family, everything seemed to be fine. But now, he was meeting your friends and he totally understands the anxiety you felt that night of Fury’s celebration party. 

You and your friends were meeting up at a club and you wanted Bucky to come along so he could meet them. When Bucky heard the word “club” alarms started going off in his head. 

You don’t belong in a club.

You’re too old to be there.

Everyone will look at you and judge you. 

You don’t belong there or with her. 

“No,” Bucky spoke to himself quietly, “I’m enough.” he said with confidence yet with a hint of uncertainty. 

Ever since you and he started dating, he’s been trying to get better about his self-confidence. He was so used to being belittled by Dot that he found himself thinking that he’ll never be enough because of the way that he looks. But then when he sees you staring back at him with so much adoration in your eyes, he feels as though he truly is enough. 

He’s not 100% certain about it. It’s a work in progress and that’s okay. 

“So, old man, when was the last time you went to a club?” you playfully asked as Bucky drove you and he to meet up with your friends. 

He snorted, “Probably since college, sugar. Been a long time. It’s probably changed.”

It was your turn to snort, “I highly doubt that. The music, maybe, but the entire scene, probably not. If your clubs consisted of drunk people practically having sex on the dance floor while music’s pounding through their ears, then it hasn’t changed one bit.”

He chuckled, “Sounds about right.”

“You plan on grindin’ on me tonight, sugar?”

You smirked at him, “Why? You want me to?”

He shrugged, “I wouldn’t say no to it.” he shot you a wink before bringing his attention back on the road. 

________________________

When Bucky entered the club, he felt like he had time travelled back to when he was in college and he was with Dot. That was when things were good, when his life hadn’t spiralled out of control.

“Hey, I found them! Let’s go!” you smiled at him and Bucky didn’t feel that pain that he’d feel when thinking about the past and his relationship with Dot. If things hadn’t happened the way that they did, he wouldn’t be with you. 

“Okay, Bucky. You got this. You’re enough. You’re enough,” he said to himself as he followed you through the groups of people and towards the back of the club. You stopped at a rounded booth and began to hug everyone there. 

“I miss you guys! I’m so glad to we’re doing this!” you look over your shoulder and your smile widens, “Oh! Guys, this is my boyfriend, Bucky! Bucky, these are my friends: Grant, Daisy, Leo, Jemma, and Lincoln!”

The five people waved and greeted Bucky and he suddenly felt small. Of course, he expected your friends to be young like yourself, but he didn’t expect them to be just as attractive, especially Lincoln, Leo, and Grant. These guys looked like models and Bucky, well...

“Bucky, sit down, won’t ya?” Lincoln asked gesturing to you, who was already sitting down talking to Daisy. 

He gave him a shy smile, “Actually, I’m gonna grab a drink from the bar,” he tapped on your shoulder, “Sugar, you want your usual?”

“Actually, I saw someone with a cotton candy martini and I really wanna try that!” you said excitedly.

He snickered, “Always the sweet tooth, sugar,” he kissed your lips and mumbled, “Be right back,” and he walked away from the booth, allowing him to calm down a bit.

“Y/N! You didn’t tell us Bucky had such daddy vibes,” Daisy joked with you and bit your lip. 

“Well, he is actually a father. Divorced almost a year ago. His ex didn’t want anything to do with him or her own daughter.”

“That’s terrible!”

“I know, but Bucky, he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, guys! He’s so loving and caring and I know he looks rough around the edges, but he’s been through a lot. And he’s an amazing dad! He loves his daughter so much and, hell, I love her too!”

“You sound really happy, Y/N,” Leo said with a fond smile. 

You nodded, “I am. I mean, I haven’t known Bucky for too long, haven’t been with him even less, but I feel like I’ve known him for years, you know? He just...I don’t even know how to describe it. He just complete me.”

__________________________

“They’re so much more good looking than you.”

“She can do so much better.”

“You’ve got nothing on those guys. They look like they stepped out of a GQ magazine!”

“Here, sugar.” Bucky held out your cotton candy martini towards you and sat beside you.

You kissed him on the cheek, “Thanks, Sarge!” and then proceeded to wipe any remnants of your lipstick on his cheek. 

“So, Bucky, how’d you meet Y/N?” Grant asked with a charming smile.

A big smile appeared on Bucky’s face, “Well, I stopped at this diner during a break from patrolling. I take a seat at a booth and look through the menu that’s already placed there. Then I hear a voice ask ‘You lookin’ for something sweet or savoury?’. I look up and I swear I was starin’ at an angel.”

You rolled your eyes, “Bucky-”

“I’m serious, sweetheart! She introduces herself to me and recommends the cinnamon buns. Says they’re the sweetest things you’d ever taste. I ordered that with some coffee and my order was out within minutes. Y/N was right about the bun, but it wasn’t what kept bringing me back.” he wraps an arm around you and you scoot closer into him, “A while later I ask her out on a date and many more and here we are.”

Grant nodded, “And here we are. A few questions though: you like ‘em young? You paying Y/N to date you? You her sugar daddy?” 

“Grant!” you sneered at him. 

Grant shrugged, “What? He’s clearly older than us! He was married and has a kid! I mean, look at him! You can’t seriously be attracted to this guy, Y/N!”

Everyone else in the group glared at Grant. He tended to be very blunt and outspoken, never one to hold his tongue. 

Bucky stared down at his lap as he mumbled, “’Scuse me,” and he peeled himself away from you, walking away from the booth. 

You slid out of the booth, taking your drink and throwing it at Grant, “Asshole!” and ran after Bucky, well, tried to run after Bucky. The club was busy so it was a bit hard for you to keep your eyes on him and get to him. 

You see him exit through a back door and you rush after him. Your calls of his name being washed out by the loud music. 

When you pushed yourself out the door, you were hit with the cool New York air. 

You turn to your left to see Bucky slumped against the wall, shoulders sagging. You slowly approach him, hand on his shoulder, “Bucky-”

“This was a mistake,” he murmured. 

“Hey, no. Grant’s an asshole who doesn’t know how to hold it’s tongue. But everyone else, they think you’re great. They-”

“I mean it was a mistake dating you,” he looks up at you with teary eyes, “Grant’s right. What do you see in me? You could have anyone that you want.” 

“Okay, and I choose you.”

Bucky scoffs, “Stop pullin’ my chain here, Y/N. What do you see in me? Really? I mean, I’m a divorced, single father who’s lost his charm and let himself go. I used to be so handsome! I used to look like all the guys in that club and now look at me!” he gestures to himself, “This doesn’t go with someone like you!”

You shook your head, grabbing a hold of Bucky’s face, “You listen to me loud and clear, James Buchanan Barnes. I fucking adore you. You’re the most sweetest, handsomest, sexiest man I’ve ever seen and been with. Yeah, you don’t look like the guys in that club, but that’s what I like about you. They all care too much about how they look. You’re so unapologetically yourself that I’m positive it intimidates the people around you. Even me sometimes.”

Bucky puts your hands on top of yours, “I’m scared, sugar. I’m scared that there’ll be a day when you finally see I’m not good enough for you and you leave me, just like Dot.”

Once again, you mentally curse the Hell outta Dot Williams for treating Bucky so poorly that he doesn’t think he’s worthy of love.

“I’m sure you’ve already noticed that I’m not Dot, Bucky. I’ve never met the woman but I absolutely hate her for all the pain and insecurities she’s caused you. You are such a wonderful man and she has no clue what she gave up.”

“God, I’ve fallen so fast and hard for you, Y/N L/N. You hold my heart in your hands, sweetheart. Please be gentle with it.”

“You take care of mine and I’ll take care of yours. How’s that sound, Sarge?”

“Deal,” Bucky breathes out before pulling you into a kiss, a kiss that causes fireworks to go off in your heart and stomach. And you continue to kiss until all the air’s left your body, making you pull back for more. 

“Goddamn, baby. I know I said the cinnamon bun was the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted but they don’t got shit on your lips.” Bucky says with a proud smile.

His line makes you giggle, “Well thank you, Sarge,” you lean in and peck his lips again, “So...you wanna go back inside? If not, I can just text them and let them know we’re gone.”

“No, I’m-I’m good now. You’re right. Grant’s an ass and I’m lettin’ him get the satisfaction of me leaving with my tail tucked.”

“Well, I don’t think he’d be satisfied whether or not we stayed ‘cause I through my drink at him before I chased after you. So he’s probably gone now that I’ve ruined his hair and his ‘fit.”

Bucky burst into giggles, “You’re quite the naughty girl, aren’t ya?”

“Only for you, Sarge,” you gave him a wink and grabbed his hand, pulling him back towards the door and into the club. You still planned on grinding down on him in the middle of the dancefloor.

[scottfuckingreed]

Wrapped around your finger - Montgomery De La Cruz

-

ANONYMOUS SAID: ‘Can you write a smutty Monty imagine where you’re the dominant one in bed lol’

-

Warnings!: Swearing and Smut!!

-

Summary: Monty decides he wants to spice stuff up in the bedroom, which is exciting and a struggle for both of you

-

Acts. Everyone’s got an act. People have the good act, the bad act, the absolutely insane act. There are endless amounts for an endless number of people. But here’s two people; me and Monty.

“Honestly guys, get a room!” Zach shouts as Monty plants his lips on mine. “I can just imagine what you’re like in bed Cruz, especially with the way you are on the pitch,” Scott pretends to moan. I pull away from Monty and hit Scott on the arm. “He’s mine,” I claim, making all the other boys - Justin, Zach, Scott and Marcus - chuckle under their breath. “Is he yours, or are you his?” Justin questions dominance, making mine and Monty’s eyes lock and my face to begin to go red.

Let’s be real, can you imagine Montgomery not being the dominant one in bed? No. Me neither. But pretty much as soon as Justin even questioned it we ditched them and went back to my place. I unlocked the front door, Monty lifting me up around his waist and crashing his lips on mine. From there, we slammed the door and headed upstairs through my luckily empty house.

“I wanna try something,” he lays me gently on the bed, his body still between my legs - crotch planted on mine with force. He was already hard, so I didn’t know why he was making himself wait even longer. Then it came out. “How do you feel about being dominant for today?” He smirks and bites his bottom lip in anticipation for my answer. How do I feel about being dominant? I mean I haven’t really thought about it before. “You want me to be the dominant?” I try not to laugh and smile massively at him instead. I was probably massively red at this point, but I’m 100% comfortable around Monty.

He laid himself on the bed only in his boxers as changed into my most sexy lingerie. As I walk out, his mouth drops and his body sits up. “Holy fucking shit Y/N,” and he says nothing else. I keep the straightest face that I could planted on my face as my slowly walk over to the bed.

“Baby girl, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to do this,” his eyes scan my body, which was now straddling his lap. I tried to contain myself as his fingertips play with the skin under the top on my thongs. A deep breath leaves my mouth. I say nothing but force my lips onto his, feeling his body lay itself down. My hands begin on his face, but I move them one I feel his hands be placed on my ass - squeezing slightly creating an immense pleasure. As great as it felt, and oh my god did it feel good, I was supposed to be the dominant one. So, I lift his hands off my behind and interlock our fingers instead. Our makeout session is going incredibly to plan until he slips his tongue into my mouth, so I pull away.

The disappointment in his face was immense. I watch as he starts to sit himself back up, but I use my right hand to lay him back down. “Please Y/N,” he speaks in a whisper. My eyes lock with his as I place a kiss on his chest, not breaking the contact as I head down his torso. Not even as I headed closer as closer to his boxers did we lose eye contact. He had amazement and plea written all over his face. He needed me to do something, anything, and I needed to do something too. I place one last kiss on him, on top of his clothed penis, making his breathing rise for a second.

“Please do that again,” he begs. “But like, maybe, on my actual dick.” I try not to laugh at his cuteness, but all I actually wanted him to do was take control. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice having Monty wrapped around my finger. Usually I feel like he has me wrapped around his finger. I mean, his breathing is legit the cutest thing. HIS BREATHING?! So, with this being said, I was enjoying myself. More than I should be.

I kiss the tip of his penis. His breathing told me that it felt good, but it was definitely overdramatic. “You’re so gorgeous Y/N,” his eyes lock with mine as I look up to him. My lips were centimetres away from his penis. “You just want me to suck your dick!” I laugh, and he shrugs. I hit him on the shoulder playfully. “No I mean it,” he says again, making me melt more than I already was. “Shut up Monty,” I lift myself towards his lips and smile at him before pecking him on the lips.

I sit my clothed crotch on his fully naked one. His hands returned to my ass, but I no longer had the strength to push his hands away. And then he starts to grind my body against his, creating an immense pleasure through my whole body. My breathing hitches, my forehead on his. “You’re supposed to be in control,” Monty whispers as he continues. “Stop then,” I bite my lip, making Monty’s breathing increase again.

I’d found the strength to get off of his lap, revealing how ready Monty was for me. So I remove my underwear. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I walk back over to him and shake my head as he speaks those words. “I mean it Y/N,” his hand find my waist as I kneel over his body with a leg each side. He shuffled himself so he’s sat up, my eyes directly locked to his. My small hand goes over his lips. “You’re supposed to do as I say right?” I ask rather confidently. With a slow nod, he answers. “So...” I pause as I grab his shaft and rub the tip against my entrance. I watch his face as I tease his for a second, not giving in just yet. “Be quiet or I’ll stop,” his eyes widen. “Stop what?” He laughs nervously, but it soon stops as I insert his penis into my vagina. “Okay yeah.”

I pull off his once more to grab a condom and roll it onto his dick. The whole touch made him go crazy, let alone when I sat myself back in it. The slightest movement of my body made his breathing hitch. It was clear now that either way, whether I’m in control or he is, he had me wrapped around his finger. I mean look at him. Everything is perfect like what the fuck. I stay still for a second to read his face, which had the cutest smirk I’ve ever seen. “Don’t look at me like that,” I blush and bury my head in his shoulder. I feel as his hand place on the top of my thighs. A simple movement made my body give in. “Are you struggling as much as I am?” I ask, referring to the fact that this was unusual for us. I have no idea how he’s not doing anything. I would be able to sense his sexual frustration from a mile away. “You have no idea,” he laughs nervously, throwing his head back.

That was that. After I gave him the ‘okay’ he flipped me over, which was effortlessly fast. “Eager?” I giggle as he does so. “I think you’ve given me blue balls,” he moves, but to adjust himself for the perfect angle. “I was teasing you for like 10 minutes,” boys are so over dramatic. His eyes are concentrated on the position of his dick and my legs, spreading them easy thrusting. “Are you ready?” He whispers as he pulls out. “Are you ready?” I copy him, making his eyes shift right to mine. His thrust back in was slower than I imagined. It was thought out for sure, but it had no signs of rush. If anything, it was too slow for Montgomery De La Cruz.

His lips were focused on my neck while he did thrusts perfectly in rhythm. My nails started at the back of his shoulders, slowly going down to his lower back. I let out a rather loud moan, making him remove his lips from my neck to lock eyes with me. “Baby please tell me you’re close,” he begs as his forehead goes on mine. “Yeah,” I breathe out with a nod before pressing my lips up to his.

My breathing gets heavier and heavier as I begin to climax. Monty notices so he presses his lips passionately against mine as his hand spreads my right leg further up for a better angle. “Oh fuck,” I pull away from his kiss, almost screaming at the sudden immense pleasure that shot through my body. He presses a quick kiss on my forehead. “Am I good to cum now? I’m about to explode,” the seriousness in his face made me laugh. “I’m not joking Y/N just-“ “Yes,” I rush to shut him up, and he immediately ejaculates into the condom. His face was buried into the crook of my neck as he rides out his high.

Laid with my head on his chest as he strokes my back. “I guess the dominance thing went out the window,” I look up him as the words flow out of my mouth. “Yeah you’re never doing it again,” I sit up in a rush. “Was it that bad?” My mouth drops, a smile creeping across my face, as those words sink it. “It’s the sexiest you’ve ever been. I don’t even know how I lasted so long,” I hit his chest lightly and bite my bottom lip. “I’ve never felt so awkward in all my life,” I admit and look down. “It seemed like you were enjoying it to me.” “That’s because I’m usually wrapped around your finger. It was nice for it to be the other way round.” He raises his hand to my face to divert my eyes from the bed to his. “I am most certainly wrapped around your finger.”

[yuriyuu]

2017 fic writing round up

Found this survey on dreamwidth and I wanted to fill it out. :3 It’s basically my thoughts on the fics I’ve written throughout 2017. It’s long so I post it under a cut. <3 Please feel free to fill it out if you’re interested! I’d love to hear your own thoughts! Blank survey can be found here

Total year-long word count: Ummm probably around 40k. I don’t write many long things. That’s only counting finished fics tho. Idk how many words i’ve got of WIP haha. 

Word count by fandom: Dude it’s all Yuri on ice lol. everything is Yuri on Ice.  Fics completed: Probably about...18-20 I wanna say? 13 or 14 of them are on AO3, and then the rest are posted on my tumblr.

Works-in-progress: We do not talk about that lol. I’ve got too many.

This year I wrote and posted: a lot more than I thought I would.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? A lot more. I’ve always enjoyed writing but I always struggled to post what I wrote because I wasn’t very confident. I always felt like my ideas were dumb and overused, so I never wrote fic for my old fandom which was much larger bc someone probably already did my similar ideas but 10000x better. When I got into Yuri on Ice, all of my ships were rare so I had no choice but to write and post my own. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Milabek!! 

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Hmmmmm idk. To be honest, all of my fics make me very happy. Not because they are good, bc they aren’t really, they’re just self-indulgent shit I write to make myself feel better, but each of my fics comes from a very personal place. Writing is how I cope with events in my life, esp past trauma, and writing the kinds of fic I write is just a very soothing process for me? Idk, it’s weird lol. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? My biggest risk was actually writing and posting stuff. I’m so happy people seem to enjoy my stuff, esp because I don’t have any confidence in it.

Your best story of this year: uhhh idk. 

Your most popular story of this year: Sharks! It’s a yuriyuu story where Yuri is transgender and comes out to Yuuri, although it didn’t go as planned. (Don’t worry, it’s a happy ending and there’s no transphobia in it!)

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Pretty Boy. It’s a vikturio story which also features trans Yuri. Basically Yuri misses wearing girly things, like skirts and lingerie and lipstick, but he gave up those things so people would take him seriously as a guy. But like, Viktor doesn’t want to see Yuri deprive himself of things that make him happy for the sake of social expectation, so he introduces Yuri to the concept of crossdressing lol. I mean I can understand why it’s not very popular, considering trans male crossdressing is a huuuuuge taboo and a no-no for most ppl, but it’s a topic I hold very dear to my heart for personal reasons and I wish more people would give it a chance lol. In case anyone has sex triggers tho, there’s 2 scenes with extremely mild non-explicit sex. Like you can tell they had sex but I wrote none of it lol. It’s very fade to black. I have a severe sex trigger so I’m warning in case anyone else is sensitive to sex. 

Most fun story to write: Birds of Paradise! Definitely Birds of Paradise hands down. It’s a silly little story where Georgi finds out Yuri has a massive crush on Yuuri and gives him shitty unsolicited love advice. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: Definitely the bloodplay scenes in Red. That is all I will say about that lol. Though I also found the scenes in Pretty Boy where Viktor makes Yuri stand in the corner so he can admire how pretty and gorgeous he looks to be really sexy. Yeah uh, i’ll just see myself out lol. 

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: I don’t consider it wrong because it was consensual kink that people actually engage in, but for people who are unfamiliar with sadomasochism, I think Red might get this reaction from people. It’s a sadomasochistic knifeplay yuriyuu fic I wrote which also features bloodplay. I also pretty much only write fluff or hurt/comfort, so I guess me writing a sexless hardcore kink fic is a bit shocking lol. The aftercare scenes are extremely fluffy tho! :D

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: Hard to say since I usually don’t write a fic unless i’m deep into that particular headcanon lol. I guess Birds of Paradise because I didn’t realize how much I loved Georgi being a supportive idiot until I actually wrote it lol. 

Hardest story to write: Not one I’ve published. Hardest story i’ve starting writing is this very personal fic that is very similar to the trauma I went through in my childhood. I don’t know if i’ll ever finish it, I doubt I’ll ever publish it, but I feel it’s a story I need to write. I don’t even want to say which ship it is because even that feels like revealing too much.

Biggest disappointment: Nothing really. I post my fic with zero expectations that anyone will read or enjoy it lol. 

Biggest surprise: Sharks got translated into Portuguese!!! 

Most unintentionally telling story: I’m sorry I don’t understand this question lol. 

Favorite opening line(s): “Sometimes for Yuri, life is loud. Sometimes it’s nothing more than a cacophony of dirty memories etched into his skin, violent thoughts on infinite repeat, adrenaline that turns into outward aggression at every person, intentions be damned. Sometimes, most of the time, that’s all he feels life is.” (from Reprieve) 

Favorite closing line(s): Listen, I went through all of my fics on AO3 searching for my fave closing line and my fave closing line is also from Reprieve lol. “Safety is not a luxury Yuri could afford. Safety is conditional, safety is a reward. Perform well enough and you can escape the looming danger for a little bit. But in Yuuri, Yuri finds reprieve. And for that, he’s thankful.”

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere:

  “Is this...guilt tea because you feel guilty?” (from Guilty), 

“Grab a spoon and help me finish the ice cream before it turns into soup. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s good and healthy to eat your feelings worth in ice cream.” (from Heroes) 

 “Perhaps maybe, home is less of a physical place and more of a slow culmination of warm, fond feelings.” (from unfinished vikturio wip) 

“Really, Viktor doesn’t know anything about him either. I saw the bruise on your shoulder. But somehow, he already knows too much.” (also from the same vikturio wip), “ 

 “You're a masochist, you like pain. Pretend this is a scene or something.” (From Red. And yes I know that quote makes no sense out of context, but the context is that Yuuri is cleaning Yuri’s wounds from their scene and Yuri is bitching that the anti-septic stings lol)

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated:

Yuuri bathing and bandaging Yuri in Red

The knifeplay scenes also from Red lol.

Yuri and Viktor sharing pocky together during Kiss and Steal

a scene from my dark forbidden fic i’m still too embarrassed to finish writing or even post LOL. 

The scene from Slowly where Yuri and Yuuri fall asleep on the couch together by mistake, so Viktor just comes over and cuddles with the both of them while they’re sleeping. (It’s a viktuurio fic, so if you like viktuurio and getting together fics, please check it out! <3)

Fic-writing goals for next year: Just to keep writing more fic. :D Maybe work on my self-esteem a little bit heheh...

[rizlowwritessortof]

My readers ROCK MY FACE OFF!

THANK YOU, everyone who has been so awesome, encouraging, and enthusiastic about Take a Chance. I won’t spam you all with responses to every single comment and lovely tag, but I AM going to thank a few of you for some of my faves under the cut. And if your comment or tags aren’t on here, BE ASSURED that I DID see them and I basked in every word. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Aw, Riz! Nervous!Adorable!Dean is adorable! And fucking hot to boot. Brava, ma’am. Also with the Dean POV. Heart it. @deandoesthingstome Charlie, I love ya!!

Oh, man. Confident, cocky Dean does things to me. But unsure, shy Dean? He makes me wanna do things to him. And this is written so well in his POV. I wanna spend more time like this inside his head. @eyes-of-a-disney-princess Thank you, Ashley <3

SDJKSDHASHDHSD!!!!! OH GOD, RIZ!! HIS INNER MONOLOGUE IS THE CUTEST, DORKIEST THING EVER. I GIGGLED LIKE AN IDIOT THE WHOLE TIME. @salvachester  Ahhhhhh, my Gator!!! Makes me so happy when you’re happy!!

Oh that answer is fucking perfect.  So flipping gorgeous Riz! @littlegreenplasticsoldier                                                                                   Ali, I ALWAYS value praise from you - thank you! <3

This is amazing. I love stuff from dean’s perspective and in his voice. This is fluffy and smutty but it also made me laugh because I could just HEAR Dean saying this stuff. Absolutely fantastic. @ravengirl94  Emily!!! That’s what I hope for writing from Dean’s POV, that you can actually hear him saying the things... highest praise ever, thank you!

I have no words. But seriously this is so Dean. ❤ @docharleythegeekqueen Harley, once again, LOVE hearing that, thank you so much <3

Chuck I love this. It is sweet and hot. Don’t get me wrong I like one time Dean Stories too. But I am a sucker for it having more meaning behind the smut.  Fave part was reader cuffing his head, i actually chuckled @dorky-and-i-know-it  Ahhhh, girl - me, too, the feels, I love the feels!!! Thank you, you’re awesome! 

Amazing job capturing Dean’s voice here! And holy hell, the smut from his perspective left me breathless. So, so good! @saenalife  Oh, my Sae.... all the loves, my friend - your words mean the world. Thank you <3

#holy craaaaap riz#this is fantastic#I love dean pov#god the smut is HOT FIRE in his pov#also the line about Sam's hair in the shower drain lol#fics I love @anotherwinchesterfangirl  Liz, you are such an amazing, enthusiastic, encouraging DOLL! <3 <3 <3

I have it on good authority that you’ve made @deanthomaswinchester very proud. Holy SHIT BALLS THAT WAS FUCKING HOT. Direct quote, I might add. @sleep-silent-angel  LOL - Well, you tell him for me to get his ass right on over here and show his appreciation :D! Thank you, sweetie!

Holy cannoli and all the other phallic desserts, Riz!! I AM DEAD. Dead, I say, DEAD. Has @but-deans-back-tho read this, yet? I think this could force her to do a Hump Day Smut with just this fic on it and “Warning! Battery Burner” in bold letters across the top. Shit, Riz. This is the kind of fic that I hope my husband never reads because it will give him a complex. @mrswhozeewhatsis  Oh. My. God. I giggled for like half an hour over this, Michelle!! :D!! Thank you, love!!

Honestly that was one of the sexiest stories I’ve read. I mostly read for the actual plots but honestly in my opinion was the best smut I’ve ever read. Well done… @straitsupernaturalmalefan  DUDE. I mean... this is amazing to me. THANK YOU.

Holy shit. This is one of the best things I’ve ever read. @melissaj616  Sweet girl, that is one of the nicest things anyone’s said to me. Thank you!! <3

This was incredible! You captured Dean’s voice perfectly. Wow! Dean girls, you have got to read this…Now! @roxy-davenport  Roxy (hope you get this tag, it doesn’t seem to want to work right :{) thank you so much!! Again, if I can make you hear Dean, then - I’m a happy writer!! 

[canonicallyanxious]

2016 fanfic year in review thing???

I was tagged by @accioinvisibilitycloak. Thank you very much! I can never say no to the opportunity to egotistically brag about my own writing lol. I tag any fic writer who follows me and feels like doing this shiz. Especially @rumpelsnorcack and @boxesfullofthoughts. But everyone else too!

Total Number of Stories Completed: According to AO3, 13

Total Word Count: AO3 says 325,198 [AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD]. Again, slightly skewed because 1. The longest fic i wrote on my own, is it the right word?, was mostly written in 2015 and 2. Anywhere between 80-100k [idk though???] was actually written by Lyds as part of our collabs, most notably one lifetime with you [again, a good chunk of which was written in 2015] and everybody begs to be redeemed [but also including our amazing hersula fic all but the brightest stars which is still lowkey one of my fave things we’ve written together]. Still, taking all of that into account this puts me, like, solidly in the 100-200k range which. Like. holy shit. What even am i doing with my life

Fandoms Written In: nmtd/lll, Voltron, the get down, check please!

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? WAY MORE HOLY SHIT??????? I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I WAS CAPABLE OF PUMPING OUT THIS MANY WORDS WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MYSELF WHERE DID I EVEN FIND THE TIME I HAVE NO MEMORY OF WRITING ANY OF THIS

What’s Your Own Favorite Story of the Year? This is!! Very difficult!!! I wrote many things that I am proud of!!! Obviously anything i write with Lyds [olwy, ebtbr] is going to top the list because i just feel like writing with them really brings out the best in me [cue the cheese]. Iitrw I’m proud of because it is, in my estimation, the best novel-length thing I’ve produced in my life. And I’m super proud of i will implode with you (‘cause everything will be all right) because, like, i love holsom with all of my soul and being and i think that fic has some of my best characterization

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? Uhhh i think i spent the whole year like pushing myself in terms of trying out different voices, different tones, different atmospheres… So on that front I’m pretty happy with the risks i took because like i tried my hand at a lot of different kinds of fic and i think it really helped me feel more confident in my versatility as a writer but also in my ability to sound like -myself- across different styles. Also I definitely took some risks in terms of the really out-there tropes/au ideas, writing things that I was interested in rather than what the fandom at large might be into. Some of which were more successful [ebtbr, all of olwyverse; do you see a trend here in terms of what I’m most proud of lol] than others [iitrw], but I’m proud of myself for taking that jump anyway.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? Ideally I would like to step away a little from fic this year but realistically, considering I’ve told myself for like over a year I’ll step away from fic, who knows if that will actually happen lol. Regardless i am probably going to continue writing fic but i would like to see if i can keep my projects on the shorter end [by which i mean, like, fewer than 50k words. I have high expectations for myself] so i can focus more on school, the future, etc. [aha oh boy……..]

As for profic, i do actually have some concrete goals for this year! I have an original story I’ve affectionately dubbed “delinquent lesbians” [though it’s a bit of a misnomer considering neither character involved is really a delinquent, and at least one of them is not a lesbian; i will not talk about it here but like if anyone is curious i will not object to rambling about them you just have to be Prepared for how much i can talk about them lol] that’s been tossing and turning in my head for the better part of a year i would really love to bring to life at some point. Also! I will not say too much on this topic yet because we don’t know if it will pan out, but Lydia and I are cooking up some of our own original collabs!! I am really excited, guys!!!

Best Story Of The Year? Isn’t this the same as favorite story of the year lol. I guess it’ll have to go to olwy because, like, how can it not go to my and lydia’s 130k word epic monster of a child

Most Popular Story Of The Year? the advantage of withholding your honesty zimbits soulmate au by a long shot

Story of Mine Most Under-Appreciated by The Universe, IMO: iitrw mostly just because i put over a year of work into that bad boy and happened to post it when the fandom shriveled up and died, every femslash thing I’ve ever written in my life

Most Fun Story to Write: olwy!!!! Most of my other projects were absolute hell to get through at one point or another tbqh

Story with The Single Sexiest Moment: Errr i don’t really write “sexy moments”. I guess like the closest I’ve come to is the make out scene i wrote in the fourth part of i will implode with you?? It’s, like, a paragraph lol

Most Sweet Story: I um don’t usually associate myself with “sweet” stories [see: the 130k words of magical angst in olwy, the 78k words of clone angst in iitrw, the 40k words of pacific rim angst in ebtbr; not only am i apparently incapable of writing anything other than heart wrenching tragedy, i write a whole fucking lot of it] but i guess this one would have to go to sing me, baby, home which is probably the fluffiest thing I’ve ever managed to write in my life [i still can’t believe i did something like that lol]

“Holy Crap, That’s Wrong, Even For You!” Story: No spoilers but this would probably have to go to what lydia and i did to Holster at the end of ebtbr [TO BE FAIR IT WAS THEIR IDEA but i wrote it so… yeah…]

And uh also iitrw is based on a pretty fucked up book so like. It’s a pretty fucked up fic just by nature of the beast

Story That Shifted My Own Perceptions Of The Characters: Hm. Well I’d say pretty much every fic i write changes the way i see the characters, especially if it’s the first time I’m writing them. If only because inevitably i will find a way that i can write the POV character as anxious in some capacity lol

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Okay this is kind of not specific to 2016 but honestly the fact that there are a handful of tropes i keep on beating the hell out of [STARGAZING; long distance relationship; summer romance] probably says a lot about me as a person [that i like soft night time content?? That i like things with twinges of melancholy and sadness and wistfulness?? That i grossly overuse night time/day time/star/sun imagery??? All of the above?????]. Also… i put a lot of myself and my anxiety into olwy!balth so… it might not seem like it but he’s probably the [version of the] character I’ve allowed myself to write the most like myself because i have serious problems with projecting on my faves lol. I was going to answer “the fact that i lowkey hate soulmate au’s even though i actually wrote one” but, like, that was 100% intentional and I kind of want everyone to know that

Hardest Story To Write: this is actually a hard question to answer because i struggled with, like, every single one of my major projects last year. I think in general i struggled the most with omgcp fic for some reason because like the characters’ voices are so incredibly distinct it’s hard to really capture them imo?? There was a point i almost gave up writing the soulmate au’s because they were so hard to do lol

Biggest Disappointment: That lyds and i will never be able to finish our plans for olwy verse. That we probably won’t be able to get to the sequel to ebtbr we were planning either. That I don’t have the time to turn my zimbits pride and prejudice AU into the Austen novel-length clusterfuck it was always meant to be [i hope i can expand on it at least a little more in the future though!]. That i will never write the 10 things i hate about you rosa/jaquie epic the lll fandom deserves. That i didn’t write, like, any original fic??? Seriously dude what are you doing =[

Biggest Surprise: Mostly that i was physically capable of putting out this much writing like completely for free lol. If only i could be this productive in my own real life endeavors

[roroslatenightthoughts]

Sin City

Spent the weekend blissfully lost in a group of beautiful ABGs. Nobody knew me, really. Other than my name, it was the perfect solution to the “my name precedes me” thing that I had been encountering after moving back home.

There was a blur of little moments, living so in the moment that not much was committing to memory. 

But I can feel the memories already blurring away. I just have to let this out somewhere, so here we go.

Friday, June 21st (the first day of summer, my period, and the summer solstice).

Jody’s flight got delayed by 4 hour (at least) and I found myself drowning in intimidation. These girls knew exactly how to do their hair and makeup, what to wear, etc. Found myself regaining some confidence as I successfully put on lashes (really well too, tbh) for the first time since I was 18yo about to perform at recital and was empowered to ditch my Spanx.

While we were waiting in line for Wynn’s XS Nightclub someone raised his voice at me, “Hey, I know you.” I subtly rolled my eyes, assuming he was the first creep of the trip. But then, “It’s Rochelle, right?” I passed along the velvet rope to get a closer look at him. “Arsenio,” he said. The name didn’t ring a bell. 

“I’m Annie’s cousin.” 

“Annie, who?” 

“Luspo!”

“Ohhh, Christy?!”

“Yeah, we met when I was staying at her house in Houston. I think we’re friends on Facebook.”

I quickly looked him up. He was right. Our mutual friends shook the cobwebs from the old connection. It had been TEN YEARS since he last saw me, completely crazy. We tried meeting up for shots in the club, but it didn’t work out. He said he was living in the Bay area now. I looked up his profile, he has a 3-year-old kid now. 

We spent the majority of our Friday evening tediously scouring XS for a table, waiting for Jody, and denying the inevitable fact that a group of 13 young women were not about to ALL get drinks at the same table let alone maneuver a dark nightclub without getting separated. 

We hunted for tables big enough for the majority of us, got half-assed efforts from promoters, and eventually some guy rounded us all up to his table for [free] drinks. It was there that we meet the “thirty-something” Miami guy. We danced, he twirled me, someone later told me they thought he was gay, it definitely didn’t feel like it (but then again, I literally have the world’s worst gay-dar). He even gave me a lap dance -- what an odd feeling to have someone’s nuts rub on your leg... blegh.

We eventually left their table and stopped like ten feet away (the crowd was thick enough to be out of obvious vision). My feet were screaming and I asked if I could sit. He had a sleeve of tattoos -- hello, talking points! At this point I could have talked for hours as long as it meant that I could sit. I don’t really remember his face, but it felt like I had him wrapped around my finger. At one point I was sneaking ice cubes out of their bucket because I was that desperate for some hydration. He said something about being warm, and I don’t know what came over me but  I instinctively leaned in and asked “Did you say you’re getting hot? Come here.” Our faces were close enough and just said “kiss me” before passing an ice cube into his mouth. It was the smoothest and sexiest I’ve ever felt in my life. 

I nonchalantly pull away and feel completely detached from the romantic gesture. He boyishly blurts out, “Thanks for making me look cool in front of my friends.” I’m glad it was dark so I could hide my chuckle. Finally, we head home and we recap the night over Chex Mix and Gardetto’s. Night ended around 2-3am.

Saturday:

Woke up around 8am (I think) and continued recapping the night. Realized my feet were insanely dirty from walking around the hotels and drop-offs sans shoes. We started getting ready for day club and I accept 

omg i’m tired of writing. here comes the word/phrase vomit.

AB&G smoothie, morton’s neuroma, small boob insecurity, “thicc” girl empowerment, big boob empowerment. lowkey strutting and hopping around the suite proud of the muscle on my legs, jiggle on my chest, and less fat at my abdomen than 7 months ago. looking like bougie bruno mars as a woman. fhearing those first beats at day club. USC med alumni. “what job would you have?” “I would enjoy being a PT,” “I’d be humans of new york,” “I’m just now starting to pay off my loans,” his name was Patrick, he’s a urologist either “operating or in clinic.” the exotic Mediterranean guy “She just like a fun, nice girl.” Billy was just one of the cute guys, idk i naturally kept tabs on him i think. Felt like I was successfully flirting with and then getting subtly rejected by Nikolai - with the twin friends (ft. dance move guy), he is an electrical engineer graduated from UCSB who would get a 2x4 lego tattoo if anything and taught me a few phrases in French - because I assumed he’d rather get with one of the girls in the group (Later on Payne would convince me otherwise - that he kept looking around for me and was just talking to everyone because I kept leaving, classic Rochelle scenario, no?). The support I felt when they all encouraged me to go after him. One of the doctors didn’t pick up on my sarcasm when I said he was the oldest (obviously the youngest), it was sweet to see all his friends play along and to have his thirsty ass wanna make me his girl hahah. Some guy named Ty who was turning 21, filipino with great tats - ended up asking for his insta bc i kept running into him. OMG the handsome, potentially gay Black man who stopped me as I got out of the pool and lowkey-strutted towards the bathroom with a “girl you are naturally gorgeous - and you know it!” ugh idk why but it was the most believable comment I’ve ever gotten from a passerby (along with the random ladies that would compliment me omg i cry).

For a while I thought everybody bailed on me and left me with Nickolai just as things were fizzling out. But thankfully we found Kim, Payne, and Mary. We weaved through the crowd, over velvet ropes, and just danced our asses off to Marshmallo’s set. As we were gathering our things at the locker, Jody happened to be walking by (I swear, technology is the biggest cockblock for serendipity). I hadn’t had enough of Day Club at that point so I stayed and saw Jody and Kathleen in action with these guys at their lounge area. Man they really committed to fishing. Finally the delirium of Day Club became a bit overwhelming and we made our way back to the hotel. At this point I felt natural and confident enough to shower naked in front of an also naked Kim. It’s amazing how much confidence I had on reserve strictly from a fresh bikini wax and the knowledge that I’ve been consistently active.

Freshly showered and freshly napped, we started getting ready for Night Swim. (Seriously, the partying never really stopped - just paused for attempts at nourishment/rest.) There was something even more heightening about this round. I played up my freshly-fallen bun-curls and took a FIRE selfie on snapchat (although it didn’t get that much feedback, whatevs bc who was i even hoping for feedback FROM?) 

Donning Kathleen’s kimono and my “naked” swimsuit... (man, looking back where did this person come from?) 

Started talking to this Filipino-Black guy in line and his friend in all white came back and asked if we wanted to join them in their cabana. None of the girls wanted to go, but I figured why not? (the guy was so tall, I think this was my subconscious, amateur attempt at jersey chasing LOL) Also they were from Brooklyn, and I’m a sucker for a good nyc story. Bopped back and forth with drinks form their cabana to our lily pad. 

In classic form, I eventually said goodbye to the cabana boys, grabbed someone from the lily pad, and headed off to do laps. This naive, potentially-gay gentleman at the dance floor tried teaching me how to salsa, as I kept reiterating, “honeyyyy, I’m from Houston! I know how to dance!” We met this Brazilian sounding guy literally because he was standing there an just put his hands up -- got us drinks and saw a poor attempt at line dancing in Vegas, encountered a PTA named Jery (classically shocked that I finished school already hehe). Kept encountering this older gentleman who was charming but creepy, gave Katy a lesson in public strutting, and finally circled back to lounge at the lily pad. 

Eventually Katy came over and whisked me away to a table in the pool. About six girls were already there. There were only two guys so of course I assumed my role as a poolside, go-go dancer. I looked down and realized that I recognized this guy’s dance moves from day club!! And sure enough Nikolai was there! I called him over asking why he wasn’t backstage at the Zedd show. Got in the pool and of course dealt with the same ambiguous vibe as earlier that day. 

(At some point during this, Kathleen came over and dropped off my things - holy shit i just looked it up, it was around 1am - and I asked her to take my phone and wallet back to the hotel at the risk of getting it in the water) Kathy had just offered me some WatEr and I ended up just chillin’, enjoying the vibes and visuals by the side of the pool. I vaguely remember seeing Nikolai leave and honestly just dgaf about it. Kathy explained that it was ok to want to feel physical touch so I just leaned the fuck in to the virgin experience and let everyone and their mother scratch my head, massage my back, and just love on each other hahaha we ended up closing the club at like 3:30am or something.

As we were leaving, one of the two guys (the half-Jap-half-Russian who I was initially told was gay - found out his name at like 5am, and then ended up not being gay) bluntly says, “you’re really pretty and I’d like to make out with you” - looking back, it was almost perfect... I was already comfortable with him because he had been [orgasmically] pulling my hair all night and massaging my neck. He said later that he thought he was being obvious in making a move, but i’m pretty sure he was doing that with everyone, esp considering Kathy was deadass wrapped around his back like a monkey lolol he later said he was only pulling my hair, my rolling ass had no fucking clue ahahah

Anyway, I hadn’t had someone suggest making out in so long and had been recently longing for that exactly, so after several minutes of inner turmoil (at this point i was still getting used to him not being gay, but also i was on my period, freshly waxed, and headfirst in my first Experience). I stayed back with Kim and James (literally a total ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ vibe with his british accent and her stunninnnggggggg looks), Kathy, and Mr. Makeout. There was a cool breeze accompanying us on the late night streets of the Strip and we just let ourselves walk and blow away with Mr. Makeout’s EPB/APL. We ended up at their room at the Palazzo and sure enough, when Kathy and Kim went to talk in the bathroom, he point-blank says, “are we gonna make out now?” 

He was odd in his own way -  a balance of nonchalant, poignancy, and just enough flirtation. Stolen smiles and glances had become our forte at this point, I was really wishing that Kathy could see what was happening, and that I hadn’t given my phone away. The three of us decided to leave to give Kim and James some privacy. Kathy lagged behind to talk to Kim and we continued to make out in the hallway. Kissing him was somehow so erotic yet so professional/respectful. 

The sun was beginning to come up as we headed to the guys’r extra room at Caesar’s and awkwardly laid in bed, in our swim suits, unable to sleep, just waiting for Kim to need us since we had a key card. Let me just say that damn Kathy is such a good friend. She had her phone out the whole time even though battery was draining fast, making sure that Kim felt safe and that she wasn’t ubering alone or anything.

There was a moment that Kathy was going to leave and I was going to stay back with Daniel (I now knew his name), I decided against it and as I got out of the bed he beautifully clung to my waist with his previously whispered “I’d like to make love to you” twirling through my head. I playfully tried getting away, knowing full well that he had me locked down (If I was smart at all, I would have remembered James’ subtle mention that Daniel brought a NCAA National Judo Title back to Harvard, i.e. their ALMA MATER, which I barely cared about at this point because I was so out of it haha). We convinced him to come back to the Venetian/Palazzo with us (and he paid for the taxi, bless).

We kept stealing a few kisses in various lobbies as Kathy essentially babysat all of us lmao. Before heading up to our room, I threw my number onto his phone internally plotting how I can sneak away to him. After all, it was only 6am at this point and everyone was deadass asleep. 

Immediately I realized how not sleepy I was in comparison to everyone sprawled out on their air mattresses. I updated Katy and Jody and replied to his immediate texts:

“Hello

OK come now.

Can we make out a little more?”

I trotted out of the room in a sun dress, no bra, and my bikini bottoms. I told you, it was the start of Cancer season. Walked through the adjoining hotels (seriously, how convenient) and eventually he found me. 

“You changed”

“Well I didn’t really want to walk around in a sheer kimono at 7am,” then alluding to the lack of bra underneath. 

He was surprisingly disciplined in the elevator, undoubtedly catching me smiling in anticipation for his lips to be back on mine. Thankfully, he deviated towards a corner wall to kiss for a bit before heading down a very long hallway. It was the most seamless a makeout has felt in a long time. We were eye to eye whenever I’d rise up onto the balls of my feet. I grabbed at his jet black hair and his hands ran all over me with an energy I’d never felt before - I had gotten used to greedy hands on me... his were appreciative, almost even respectful. I could feel him near the hem of my dress and he’d lightly lift it up, but never yanked at it or slid it up too high... we continued down the long hallway with the same style of kissing, even getting caught by a couple, oops hehe. 

We got to the room and decided to continue in the [pleasantly spacious and conveniently mirrored] full bathroom. Knowing fully well that we only had time to makeout, we started slow, just weaving back and forth. We took our time, taking turns unbuttoning each others tops, one by one, kissing to celebrate the each exposure of new skin (forgetting the fact that we were already half naked when we met or that we had already laid next to one another in our underwear). 

Eventually the clothes were off and he didn’t question when I said that underwear has to stay on. It was 45 minutes of bliss. He leaned against the counter for the majority of the time and our hands ran free, up and down each other’s bodies. His musculature perfectly balanced - I seriously don’t think I’ve ever been so dumbfounded, I literally had no critiques. But I couldn’t properly articulate myself because I was so shocked by his whispers and praises.

“You’re so pretty... You’re so cute... You’re so hot... You have the most incredible body,” as he appeared to blink in what looked like disbelief. For once, I actually believed a man’s compliments on my body...

 “I was trying to talk to you all night,” he said as I stared back in disbelief reminding him that his hands were on all the other girls as well. “You have so many dang friends, I didn’t know how to get alone... and then you disappeared, I couldn’t find you.” We continued kissing through all this recapping and sure enough, he blessed me with that same, firm hair pull.

We ended up laying on the floor towards the end, him teasing me with the words, “I really want to eat you out” - BUT OF COURSE, I was on my period at a time when I’d never been more willing to do it. His lips were so luscious and our tongues had already become well-acquainted at this point. He told me to lay on the floor and his hands just explored my lower abdomen and superficial pelvis... it felt beautifully similar to the scene in “Pretty Woman” where Richard Gere goes from playing the piano to playing Julia Roberts’ body....  it was just pure bliss, I’d never been so happy to be in a hotel bathroom at 7am. And as we ached over the fleeting minutes, eventually we heard James fumbling for the bathroom knob, I doubled over in giggles as I fumbled for clothes to cover my mostly naked self. “I’m not done exploring you yet...” he said with a tone of sadness as we departed, again not realizing that I was plotting to return to him. I wasn’t done either.

I’m going to stop writing soon, but I ended up going back to his room (sans James) after Jody left. We had about an hour, “You just always leave me. I booked my flight for 11:30 after you left. I didn’t think I’d get to see you again.”

We kissed slowly, obviously running on depleted energy reserves, and eventually ramping up to the same enthusiasm as earlier that morning.

“I wish I had a video of you doing that,” alluding to my practically-rehearsed minx crawl over his supine body. To which he countered with the masculine version when it was his time to be on top. However, I think I reached a completely new capacity of physical attraction as I laid on the bed with him standing, holding my hips. Every time his hips thrusted forward, his chest and delts contracted with each pulse.... I’d never been with a physique like that, ever. I don’t know what came over me but eventually I was going down with an enthusiasm I hadn’t felt in years, genuinely wanting to kiss him just everywhere. I was lasting a lot longer than usual. I could feel him squirming and just when I thought he was going to finish - he blurted “I just want to fuck you” as he simultaneously tossed me to the head of the bed and held himself over me - it was performed so swiftly and smoothly that I officially have a newfound sexual respect for guys who do Judo. It almost felt like a couples tango... I just laid there, sprawled out in complete disbelief, realizing that I reallyyyy wanted him back in me. We wrestled with the idea but there were no condoms left and I wasn’t on birth control - I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from discussing the significantly decreased likelihood of getting pregnant when on your period, but luckily he reminded me that we’re a couple of strangers, a couple of mature adults. Eventually time caught up with us  and with rosy-cheeks we left his room. I lamely asked if we could hold hands to which he said, “of course.” I could feel his smile next to me in the elevator and gave each other a quick kiss before he headed to the lobby and I sped off to the Venetian to clean up my things before check out.

 At one point we were just laying there and he said those perfect words, “this is all I really wanted.” I didn’t fully believe him, but I nodded in agreement because it truly felt wonderful.

(Sidenote: I initially started this post because I was resisting texting Mr. Makeout. I caved and started drafting a message, but I kept backspacing because I didn’t actually know what I wanted to say. Finally got frustrated and gave up on keeping contact, phew glad that period of desperation is over with) 

[anavoliselenu]

Creighton chapter 6

“Get in the shower, Selena.” I turn on the water in the palatial glass enclosure, but she doesn’t make a move to strip.

The twelve showerheads begin to fill the room with steam. I hold open the glass door and wait. She still doesn’t move.

“Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?”

She shakes her head. “I just thought I’d shower alone.”

Ah. There it is. Selena’s innate shyness that she can’t hide. As much as I get a charge out of guiding her due to her inexperience, the sexiest submissive women I know are also some of the most confident I’ve ever met. I caught glimpses of Selena’s confidence when she spoke about her career last night and the mess the record label pushed her into, and I’m determined to see if I can pull that from her when it comes to sex. An interesting and entertaining challenge.

My words are calculated to do just that.

“And I thought I’d fuck my wife in the shower.”

Her eyes dart up to meet mine, spitting fire. “Is this how it’s going to be? You say when, and I just spread my legs? Because I missed that subsection in your massive contract.”

Ah, there we are. She has attitude, but she’s untrained and needs guidance on how to channel it. And that’s where I come in.

I cross the room and stop in front of her. “The only massive thing you need to worry about at this moment is my cock, sweetheart,” I say. “And when and where I tell you to take it.”

Her fist connects with my jaw, and my head snaps sideways.

Fuck. I guess I went a little too far. My new wife has way more attitude than I realized.

Rubbing two fingers across the surprisingly tender spot just below and to the left of my mouth, I study her. She’s shaking her hand out and wincing.

“Damn, that hurts more than I remember,” she whispers.

I’m intrigued by her reaction and her words. “I’m not sure whether I should be more surprised that you punched me, or that this apparently isn’t the first time you’ve hit someone.”

Selena peeks up at me from beneath long, dark lashes, as if the boldness of a moment ago has faded as fast as it flared up. She flexes her hand, and I don’t like the pain telegraphed by her movements.

“Hold on.”

I turn and leave the bathroom. My preferred villa at Caesar’s is five thousand square feet, so it takes me a moment to load up ice from the freezer into a hand towel and bring it back to the bathroom.

Selena’s seated at the vanity with her back to the mirror when I return, still flexing her hand. I crouch in front of her, and her eyes dart up to mine in surprise. I reach out to take her wrist, but she snatches her hand away.

“What are you—”

I wrap my hand around her forearm, pull her hand toward me so it rests on my knee, and press the ice to her knuckles.

“I would think it’s obvious.”

Confusion creases her features. “I would’ve thought you’d pull out the contract and point me to the section where it states there’s an automatic annulment in this scenario.”

My lips twitch at her statement. “I can’t say that either I or my lawyers envisioned this one.” My almost-smile fades away. “But don’t do it again.”

“Then don’t say stuff like that to me.” She jerks her hand, but my hold on her forearm is unrelenting.

“I think you’ll find that I’ll say plenty of stuff like that, and I’ll only get more demanding and blunt.” I swear I can hear her teeth grind. “What’d you really expect, Selena?”

“I have no idea. I must be absolutely insane to think I could do this.” She laughs, and it echoes in the large master bath.

The sound causes my balls to tighten and my dick to go rock hard. There’s something about this woman, and I don’t have a fucking clue what it is, but my body responds to her like I’m Pavlov’s fucking dog.

As she’s sitting at approximately eye level, she doesn’t miss my reaction. She looks up at me and back down to the tent in my boxer briefs.

“Ignore it.”

“Um, easier said than done.”

Once again, a smile creeps across my face, and I lift the ice from her knuckles. They’re red, and a foreign thought invades my brain. I don’t like her hurting, and especially not because of me.

“Don’t do that again,” I order her.

“Then maybe you should rethink how you speak to me,” she counters before meeting my eyes again and adding, “I’m sorry, though. I probably shouldn’t have done that. I just . . . reacted. Badly.”

I set the ice on the vanity and rise. Crossing to the shower, I shut off the water and jerk my head toward the master bedroom.

“Let’s talk.”

I hit him.

Holy. Shit.

I hit him.

I haven’t hit someone since I knocked Johnny Dagen on his ass for handing me five dollars and asking if that was enough to buy him a blow job because he heard that’s what my mama charged. I broke his nose, and he never asked again. I was fifteen at the time. That wasn’t the last time someone made me feel like a whore, but I certainly wasn’t going to spend however long this marriage lasts being treated like one.

Burying memories of a past I’d love to forget, I follow Justin out of the giant bathroom. Even though he brought me ice, I’m assuming this is when the annulment proceedings start.

I wish I never got out of bed this morning. I need a do-over.

Jesus. Why did I hit him? Something about his condescending tone just pushed me over the edge.

I woke up this morning worried about what the record execs and the media were going to say, and he brushes my concerns aside like they’re nothing. And then I find out that he’s eleven years older than me, and suddenly the decision I made seemed to take on a whole new level of cons I didn’t anticipate. It’s no excuse, but it’s the only one I’ve got.

Justin pulls on a pair of lounge pants—I have no idea where those came from—and settles into one of the chairs in the sitting room portion of the master suite. I take the chair opposite him.

“We need to lay out some ground rules.”

I’m not sure I like the sound of that, because I assume what he really means is that it’s time to lay out Justin’s rules.

But what did I really expect? That I’d have some sort of bargaining power here? My leverage disappeared when I signed on the dotted line.

I know it, and he knows it.

Then again, we both want something from the other, which I suppose puts us on sort of even footing. Except . . . not really. He has the billions and I just have me.

You can cover a girl with fancy makeup, false eyelashes, hair extensions, stage-worthy clothes, and strip off my extra ten pounds by starving me half to death, but it doesn’t change who I am at heart. I’m still a girl from East Kentucky with big dreams and an even bigger fear of failure—because I don’t want to go back to Gold Haven. There’s nothing left there for me anymore, much to my gut-wrenching regret.

When I snap myself out of my impromptu trip down my pothole-riddled memory lane, I find Justin waiting, that damn eyebrow raised.

“Please, by all means, continue.” My accent comes out stronger, and I blame it on my thoughts of home and the fact that if his rules have any impact on my career, we’re going to have a problem.

He narrows his eyes. “Rule one: I like sex. I plan to have a lot of it. With you.”

Well, then. The man certainly doesn’t beat around the bush. “I got that one.”

“If that’s going to be a problem for you, my lawyers can—”

And there it is, the threat to end the marriage, which would put my career in jeopardy.

“End this marriage faster than it started?” I say quickly, interrupting him. “Because sex isn’t a problem for me. I know what I signed up for. It’s not like I think you married me because you found my conversational skills riveting. I just didn’t realize I was going to be spreading my legs on command. I thought you’d at least, you know, pretend like I wasn’t a whore. Although I guess that’s all I really am. A really expensive whore.”

Justin’s narrowed eyes turn absolutely molten. “Don’t you fucking call yourself a whore.”

“Then don’t treat me like one.”

We stare each other down, and I wait for his response. I’m expecting something along the lines of “I’ll treat you however I want to treat you,” but what I get instead is something completely unexpected.

“I’m sorry.”

An apology?

“That wasn’t well done of me. I may be a demanding asshole, but that’s not exactly my style.”

“Does that mean you don’t want shower sex?” I’m pretty sure it’s the slutty devil on my shoulder shoving these words into my mouth, because I certainly wasn’t planning to say that.

Justin’s smile is lazy, predatory, and his eyes are hot and hard.

“I didn’t say that, Selena. In fact, right now there’s nothing I’d rather do more than walk you right back into that bathroom, strip you naked, and fuck you against the wall until you beg me to let you come.”

My mind skips back to our first night together. It isn’t lost on me that the man likes control. The last time we had sex that night, he toyed with me, refusing to let me come until I begged and pleaded—and then he took me. I’ve never had that before, and I was pretty sure I’d never have that again. Which was depressing to think about, because it was . . . amazing. My objection this morning wasn’t to the sex, but to the way he spoke to me.

And with his apology, maybe there’s hope for us yet.

I decide to take the first step, a peace offering, per se. I set the ice on the table beside me, stand, and snag the hem of my T-shirt. I pull it up and over my head, and drop it on the floor. Justin’s lips twitch into that sexy smirk I’m already starting to recognize.

“Then maybe we should postpone the rest of this conversation indefinitely?” I say.

“I like the sound of that.”

I take one step toward the bathroom, and he says, “Stop.”

I meet his eyes, and he holds out the shirt.

I look at it in confusion. “What?”

“Put it back on.”

“I don’t understand.”

Justin reaches for my hand, places the shirt in it, and curls my fingers around the soft cotton.

“I told you I was going to strip you naked and fuck you in the shower. I didn’t say you were going to strip for me.”

Seriously?

But I don’t protest. I think it’s the promise of the orgasms looming on the horizon, and the way he’s looking at me with scorching heat in his eyes. Shaking out the shirt, I pull it back over my head and turn to head for the bathroom.

Justin stalks me as I make my way back through the master suite into the crazy-nice bathroom. I pause in front of the huge glass shower enclosure and wait.

The heat radiating from his big body penetrates the thin cotton fabric I’m wearing, and I wait for whatever he’s going to do next. The anticipation is almost a tangible thing.

His mouth must be only half an inch from my ear, because his breath ghosts along it when he says, “Get inside.”

I open my mouth to protest, because I’m still wearing the shirt and underwear.

“Now, Selena.”

The order sends shivers racing down my spine. Unlike before, his tone is smoothly seductive and commanding rather than condescending. It’s intoxicating and impossible to ignore.

Stepping into the shower, I await his next command. I don’t have to wait long.

“Turn on the water.”

I reach for the fixture and twist. The hot spray hits me from several different angles, and I shut my eyes. Water soaks through the shirt in moments, and I realize that I’m giving Justin his very own wet T-shirt show. And that knowledge is not unappealing.

When my nipples harden against the drenched fabric, I wipe the water away from my eyes and turn to face him. I want to see his expression.

He doesn’t disappoint me. His eyes flash, and I’m treated to a wolfish smile.

“You like this, you dirty girl. Even though you rebelled against it, you like when I tell you what to do. I seem to remember you asking me to do that very thing in the limo last night.”

I start to shake my head, but realize there’s no point in denying it.

“I shouldn’t like it.”

“Fuck shouldn’t,” Justin growls as he crosses to the shower, stripping off the lounge pants and boxer briefs. He wastes no time grabbing my soaked T-shirt by the hem and pulling it up over my head. It lands on the shower floor with a soggy smack.

His mouth drops to my nipple as his thumbs catch the waist of my underwear. Without lifting his head, he drags them down my legs, and I kick them aside. He pulls away from my breast, his attention riveted on my mouth once more. He takes it. Takes me.

Cupping my butt, he lifts me off my feet. “Wrap your legs around me.”

His erection presses hot, hard, and heavy between my legs. I shift my hips, loving the pressure of it against my clit.

He pulls back for only a moment. “Speak now or forever hold your peace, Mrs. Karas. Because otherwise, I’m going to fuck the hell out of you.”

My nails dig into the solid muscles of his shoulders.

“Please. Now.” They are the only words I can get out before he shifts and presses into me.

I’ve never been this turned on in my entire life. Never.

My eyes flutter shut, but I force them open as my body stretches almost painfully to accommodate Justin’s size. I want to see the ecstasy twisted in his features.

His thrusts come fast and hard, and the heat of his body is a delicious contrast to the cool tile at my back. Steam fills the air, mingling with my moans of pleasure.

At this angle, every thrust hits a perfect spot, and my orgasm builds with each bit of friction against my clit. I fight against the rising tension, knowing that the longer I wait, the more intense it’s going to be.

Justin readjusts to hold me up with one arm, and slips a hand between our bodies. The press of his thumb against my clit tears away any resolve I have to wait. I dig my nails into the tanned skin of his shoulders as the climax bursts through me.

My cry echoes through the enclosed space, and I swear I hear him laugh over the blood rushing in my ears. He continues to thrust, the pace increasing with each plunge, until my second orgasm is barreling down on me. My body clenches around him, greedy for every inch I can get.

“Fuuuck,” he yells as he pounds home one . . . two . . . three more times.

His muscles flex and release until we’re both shaking under the hot spray of the shower. His head drops forward, resting on the tile beside mine. My legs are locked around his waist, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to move again. Not sure I ever want to move again. He pulls out before carefully lowering me, and I’m forced to disentangle my limbs from him and let his cock slip from my body.

“Jesus, woman.” He tilts my face up toward his, both hands holding my cheeks. “You’re fucking incredible.”

And then his lips descend on mine once more, but they don’t stay on my lips. They slide down to my chin, my neck, my breasts. Each nipple gets the attention of his teeth and tongue before he drops to his knees and worships my belly, and then my pussy.

I can still feel his cum leaking from my body, but that doesn’t stop him from burying his face between my legs, nipping at my clit and delving inside. His hands clutch my rear, forcing me to use his face for balance. Which I have absolutely no problem with because pleasure is again sparking down my spine, and my knees are dangerously close to giving out.

But when the fingers of one hand skim down the crack of my ass, approaching my no-go zone, I squirm, trying to move away from him.

He tightens his grip, and my squirming is completely useless, except for how it moves me another notch toward orgasm. He went there that night, but I was too drunk on whiskey and pleasure to care or protest.

But now? In the broad and sober light of day? I’m not sure I can handle it.

He looks up, lust and confusion written across his features in equal measure.

“What? You have a problem with me eating your freshly fucked pussy?”

I shiver under his penetrating stare. It misses nothing. As if testing my reaction, those questing fingers lightly cross over the pucker of my ass again, and I try to pull away.

A grin curves his mouth into a devastating smile as he circles it with his thumb and adds the slightest pressure.

I flinch at the nerve endings rocketing to life. “I don’t . . .”

He leaves that sensitive spot and I relax, but altogether too soon. He brings his fingers forward to dip inside me.

“You’ve never taken a cock up this gorgeous ass, Selena?”

My eyes widen, and I stammer, “No . . . no. Never.”

“That’s going to change.” His flashing brown eyes are wicked when he adds, “Maybe not today—or even tomorrow—but when it does, I’ll make you fucking love it. You’ll beg for it.”

I swallow as another flood of moisture drips onto his fingers.

“Don’t pretend you don’t like the idea, because your body has already spoken. Let me show you.”

Shaking my head doesn’t help because his questing fingers are already drawing my slickness to my back hole. My muscles twitch at the zings of pleasure.

Staring up at me, he presses one finger against my asshole. I try to remain unaffected, but it’s a losing battle. I bite my lip to hold in my moan, but it escapes anyway.

“That’s right, baby. I’m going to finger-fuck this tight little virgin asshole, and you’re going to come on my face while I do it.”

“Oh my God,” I whisper as his touch tests and then breaches the ring of muscle. Tremors rip through me as his finger presses in.

“That’s a good girl. You take it. You take everything I give you.”

I don’t remember moving my hands, but they’re cupping my breasts and tugging at my nipples, desperate to spread sensations of pleasure.

His finger slides deeper and begins to thrust as his mouth lowers to my clit once again. The vibrations of his groans intensify the sensations rioting through my body. When I feel a second finger circling my entrance, I stiffen, but a nip to my clit distracts me from the flaring nerve endings.

My head thrashes from side to side against the cool tile wall, pain and pleasure mixing and sparking as he thrusts with his fingers and toys with my clit with his tongue, teeth, and lips.

This man owns every one of my senses, and I lose myself to his forbidden touches as he forces me higher and higher until I shatter.

When I release Selena, she slides down the wall, her head dropping forward onto my shoulder. We’re both on our knees under the pounding spray of the shower, and I wonder if every time I touch her I’ll feel like I’ve found the goddamn Holy Grail. It’s a little unnerving, and not at all a feeling I’m accustomed to.

I stand, carefully helping her to her feet. I wash us both and shut off the water before wrapping Selena in a giant fluffy robe. It swallows her small frame, and in her blissed-out postcoital state, she looks like a sated goddess.

I carry her to the bed and settle her on a mountain of down pillows. My chest tightens strangely at her sleepy smile, and I feel the need to beat on it like fucking King Kong. I am the opposite of sated. I’m revved, ready to fuck her into oblivion, and feeling like I’m the goddamn king of the world. Her orgasms fill me with this insane power trip, like I could tear down buildings with my bare hands and then reassemble them with only my willpower.

A light snore comes from the bed, and I glance over to her again. Her head lolls to the side in sleep, and her mouth is slightly open. I’m a horny bastard, and I can’t wait to feed my dick between those lips again and watch her swallow everything I give her.

I think of the way her tight little ass clenched at my fingers, and I love knowing that I’m going to be the first man to sink my cock inside it. These possessive urges surprise the shit out of me. I don’t get possessive, because I don’t get attached. Ever.

I shove them all down, back to wherever they came from, and head to the shower to jack off.

When I wake up from my cat nap after the most amazing shower sex I’ve ever had—actually, the only shower sex I’ve ever had—I decide it’s time to deal with the consequences of my New Year’s Eve decision. The label has blown up my phone with calls and messages all day, and when I finally take Morty’s call, I have to hold the phone away from my ear because his words are getting louder and louder, and more and more of them are curses.

“You fucked up everything, Wix! We had it all planned. We spent fucking money on this proposal to make it media-worthy, and then you were goddamn MIA. What the hell are you thinking marrying some fucking billionaire instead of toeing the line like I told you to? You don’t get to make those decisions. I make the decisions.”

When Morty finally takes a breath, I open my mouth to speak. But Jim must be on another extension or in the same conference room, because he breaks in.

“What’s done is done. There’s no going back now, and even if we could undo this Vegas farce, it’d be even worse. JC looks like an ass, but at least a heartbroken ass is sympathetic.”

“She shouldn’t have done anything in the first place! This is fucking ridiculous. I swear you did this just to piss me off!” Morty’s yelled words are starting to hurt my ears.

“I told you I wouldn’t fall in line,” I finally say. “You didn’t listen to me.”

“You don’t get to have an opinion, Wix. Your ass is going back to Kentucky!”

Jim breaks in again. “Come on, Morty. We talked about this. Sending her back to Kentucky isn’t going to do anyone a damn bit of good.”

For the first time since I answered the phone, a feeling of relief slides through me.

Morty grumbles, still unwilling to concede completely. “Well, she better fall in line from here on out.” Finally addressing me again, he says, “You better not miss a show, a practice, a radio spot, a meet and greet, or even a frigging meeting, though, Wix. I will yank you off that tour so fast, your head will spin, and then you can go crawling back to your billionaire husband and remember the career you could’ve had.”

“I won’t miss anything. You have my word.”

“I’ll be checking up on every single thing. You see if I don’t.”

“I got it.”

“Good. Now quit fucking up everything and go write some goddamn songs for your next record. You still owe me six.”

“Six? What are you talking about?”

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